Bob, the jerk

[Maggie Cummings]

Or maybe it should be titled, Maggie the dummy. Guess I'm just not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. There's a nice patch of grass and dandelions I planted especially for my smaller tortoises only the sun never shines there. So I never put them in there. It got overgrown, so this morning I decided to let Bob in there to mow it down. I used a plastic bench to keep him from going up the stairs, yes Virginia, he has climbed those stairs a few times, and I kept watch over him. My neighbor attracted my attention with some great gossip and when I went back to check on Bob I discovered he had been up to no good. He evidently climbed the stairs as there was Sulcata poop and a puddle of gook on my deck. I live in a manufactured home and he pushed in the skirting in two places and splintered a stair... In my defense he was happily eating the grass when I went and stood in my driveway for 5 minutes, or maybe 10. The pictures do not do the damage justice, but I thought the group might enjoy seeing my misery. Jeez I feel stupid! You see in the 4th photo how he's turning around against the house, he either fell off the stairs or turned around on the one stair and pushed out the skirting turning the same way, against the house. Happy Easter everyone...He did take care of the grass tho...

 

[Yvonne G]

Oh, Bob! What a trouble-maker.

 

[Stephanie Logan]

Who would expect anything less of the King?

 

[Cowboy_Ken]

The least he could have done was eat the dandelion growing at the base of the steps. Not sure if this is needed or not Maggie, but for popping the skirting back out, you might be able to bend the end of a wire coat hanger to an L shape and slip that under, twist, and pull. That should save the ends of your fingertips.

 

[DeanS]

He kills me!

 

[T33's Torts]

He kills me!

Same way he killed that skirting?

 

[Maggie Cummings]

You guys (and gals) are all so funny. Your comments are funnier than the story. Thanks Ken, I was wondering how to get it put back one handed. I'll try the hanger...

 

[ascott]

Ahh, Bob simply rocks...it is not his fault the world is not entirely set up for tortoise....royalty tortoise at that....

 

[ascott]

You gave him a treat so it is only fair he leaves you some back....lol

 

[TortyTom]

Haha! That's great! My morning coffee and laughing at that big tank of a tort! Love it!

 

[terryo]

I can't even imagine the amount of damage these big guys can to. Finally a new Bob story to give us a laugh or two or three.

 

[bouaboua]

We will be in that situation about........10 years from now, Thank you for the heads-up.

 

[christinaland128]

That's too stinkin funny!!

 

[wellington]

Bob, Bob, Bob, what can you say? Gotta laugh at him, such a character and keeping you young and on your toes, well, most of the time.

 

[Maggie Cummings]

Sometimes he can be such a pain in the ***. He remembers going out the gate yesterday, so he has tried to climb it, rammed it and I swear used one elephant foot to try and move the gate hook. I was gone for a while and when I got home I looked in on him, and he had knocked over 4 high cinder blocks with freakin rebar inside of them. The rebar was bent over and he'd knocked over 3 levels of block 2 wide and the ones on the second level all had big wooden stakes in them 2 in each block. Once he finds a weak spot he just worries the heck out of it until he knocks them over. Only half his pen is 3 or 4 high cinder block and the other half is solid cedar 3 1/2' high fence and he didn't used to test that fence at all. But now he has discovered that he can almost see over the fence. He can just barely get his eyes over the top of the fence. And to him that means that he thinks he's gonna climb over that darned fence. A few days ago I checked on him to find him in that corner on his back. I will say that if you have never experienced a big tortoise on his back, you just never have been freaked out. It is so scary and I felt so bad for him, and evidently he had been that way for a while as he had dug around in a circle, pooped , peed, and stopped struggling. I only can have weight in one hand, so turning him back over was no easy task. And then he just sat there kinda stunned. So I rubbed his head (he hates that) and rubbed his legs, and my heart was just pounding and then I rubbed his carapace, and that made him do the Hootchie Coochie Dance and I knew he was gonna be alright. For most Sulcata, if you rub your hands in a circular motion on their carapace they will push up against your hand and wiggle their butts widely back and forth. Bob does it so crazily he sometimes falls off his back legs...'nuff from me I guess...

 

[lynnedit]

Bob! There is never a dull moment with you.

 

[jfales]

I love the personality! I hope Mac keeps behaving!

 

[T33's Torts]

I love the personality! I hope Mac keeps behaving!

You can only hope! It only took Tank three weeks to realize it's fun to move chairs and pots!

 

[ascott]

Maggie, sounds like you may want to call in some troops to help raise the height of that fence....he now has it in his mind that something is on the other side that he needs to get to....man, that is a horrible feeling----I wish I were close, I would come and help you out....

 

[Maggie Cummings]

I just never expected he would get a tall as he is and he stands on his back legs a lot...Something new everyday with him...