Because it is.
COLD DARK ROOM
- Thread starter Tidgy's Dad
- Start date
Fair enough. Do you think I would have enough courage to argue with someone like him?
I doubt I would.
Most people here can understand most of the other Arab dialects.
When he's asleep, maybe ?
Yep. That's the strange thing: they can understand most Arabic dialects back there, however almost nobody understands them here.
That made me CHUCKLE. OK, that would make sense but what if he wakes up and attacks me, instead of defending the goal?
CASHPOINT / ATM USERS
When using cashpoint: ATM machines, prevent the person behind you from knowing your number by deliberately keying in the wrong one.
Then pretend to collect your money and walk away smiling or whistling innocently.
When using cashpoint: ATM machines, prevent the person behind you from knowing your number by deliberately keying in the wrong one.
Then pretend to collect your money and walk away smiling or whistling innocently.
If you whisper, he shouldn't wake up.
Hopefully.
I bet you he will hear me and wake up. Think negative - that's me.
That's what very many people have been doing here. The world has become so dangerous, has it not? Too bad.
Okay.
Then you need to have a large cooking pan.
If he starts to wake up, bash him on the head and run away.
Then when he recovers be nice to him and say it was the postman.
Oh Adam, why be so cruel?! I have another idea: How about getting little Oli to attack him?
And that's not cruel ?
To both of them ?
Anyway, I thought little Oli was a pacifist ?
Oh no little Oli is ANYTHING but a pacifist. He's been driving me - his mother - NUTS lately.
I do so wish he would grow a little faster," Mrs wifey was saying. "Every spring, when he wakes up from his winter's sleep, I weigh him on the kitchen scales. And do you know that in all the eleven years I've had him he's not gained more than three ounces! That's almost nothing ! "
Mr Adam doubted that Alfie weighed a total of three ounces now , Mrs wifey probably had metric kitchen scales.
But he was too shy to )) mention it. He also thought it was a pretty good idea to weigh the tortoise only once a year, once it was fully grown. When they were small and still growing to adulthood, once a month was better as you could clearly see their growth progression without driving yourself completely bonkers with worry if you weighed them more often and the weight fluctuated wildly. There they be dragons."What does he weigh now ?" Mr Adam asked her
"Just thirteen ounces," Mrs wifey answered. "About as much as a grapefruit. "
Hmmmm. About as much as a grape, thought Mr Adam.
"Yes, well, tortoises are very slow growers," Mr Adam said solemnly. " But they can live for more than a hundred years."
If one follows the sound advice from knowledgeable folks on Tortoise Forum, that is, and reads the care sheets and Beginners' Mistakes threads, of course.
" I know that," Mrs wifey said. "But I do so wish he would grow just a little bit bigger. He's such a tiny wee fellow."
" He seems just fine as he is." Mr Adam said.
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I thought you were going to say, "I'm not a horse, but I play one on TV."
Another happy ending!
$70 for that little bit? Wait and I'll go get a picture of my recycling. . . . . . . . .
FUN TIP
Make people think you have alcoholic mice by hiding miniature bottles of scotch behind a crack in the skirting board and using a teaspoon of porridge to simulate small pools of vermin sick.
Make people think you have alcoholic mice by hiding miniature bottles of scotch behind a crack in the skirting board and using a teaspoon of porridge to simulate small pools of vermin sick.
