Raising teenage boys

[pugsandkids]

Rant coming, advice welcome!
My 16 year old failed two classes last term. He was allowed by his school to make them up online in order to be eligible for sports. He did World Cultures in 4 hours, and Algebra II in 2 weeks. The deal was that he could play soccer for the school once those were done. Today he and his team were in a local tournament. First time he's played with the team in two months. He plays Keeper, missed a goal, got pissed, and punched the goal post. Hand swelled up, hubby took him in to have it checked. He broke it! The only reason he got his school stuff taken care of was to play soccer. Now he can't play for weeks, losing not only his position, but the only motivation to give a "flip" about school...Aaaggghh

 

[dmmj]

Sounds like a good life lesson, control yourself or you will miss out on life.

 

[pugsandkids]

Yup...That's why I'm so frustrated. Dumb. ***. Move.

 

[dmmj]

We all make mistakes how we learn from them defines us.

 

[Laurie]

I hear you! My son has done some pretty dumb things, including failing some of his college courses simply because he was skipping classes to hang out with his friends. I was sooo angry! I just think he was too immature to handle it. They're teenage boys, they're made to do dumbass things!

 

[lisa127]

I have two teenage girls. A senior in high school and a freshman in college. I have no idea what it's like to raise boys....but I will tell you girls are emtionally exhausting!!!

 

[JeffG]

Can't really give you any useful advice, but I feel your pain. I currently have FOUR teenage boys, and a teenage girl on top. Life is never boring.

 

[pugsandkids]

My son is considering joining the Coast Guard after he graduates. When he does his assignments he gets A's, but he's just not excited about school. Hopefully he'll gain some life experience and then be ready. He is very sheepish tonight. Several times he's said "that was so stupid, I've learned my lesson" Out of the blue, no prompting or lecturing needed






Girls...I think there's a reason I had boys.

 

[Zamric]

My son is considering joining the Coast Guard after he graduates. When he does his assignments he gets A's, but he's just not excited about school. Hopefully he'll gain some life experience and then be ready. He is very sheepish tonight. Several times he's said "that was so stupid, I've learned my lesson" Out of the blue, no prompting or lecturing needed

Boys Do Dumb *** Things!

Son #2 (now age 24) Got bored of school his Senior Year and dropped out to take up an apprinticeship with a Jeweler. Lasted 8 months till he found he could make more money selling cars... When his wife got pregnate, he got his GED and Joined the Army.

Military disapline did the boy WORLDS of good! He is now a dedicated Soldier, Husband and Father of 2.

Military Service is the BEST thing for Boys and should be Manditory for all kinds exiting High Shool... but I'm a 3rd generation Army Brat!

 

[Jacqui]

I wish I could say my four never did dumb things, but I can't and in a way I am kinda glad I can't. I know for myself, most of the dumb things I did (like not following my dream and trying to be a Vet) have helped me learned and grow more then the "good" things along the way.

Your son sounds a bit like my youngest Josh. He kinda just did only what he had to in order to play football. Either he was doing A in a class or just keeping off the down list, because of not doing required work. Now with a little more age on him, football is no longer the compelling force, getting a good job is. I am proud to say, he has been on the Dean's list the last three times. I am betting the same will be true of your son.

Having had two girls and two boys, I am not sure which was harder. My oldest girl is my "wild child", but even she is not all that wild. Over all, I think the boys had the more serious issues and peer pressure to deal with.

As for the military, I have to kinda agree. Josh talked a lot about it, but I don't think his eyes would pass. The youngest daughter also considered it strongly, but did not think she could do the physical part of it.

 

[Niki]

My son turned 15 in June... And he definitely has the attitude! I have to remember what I was like as a teenager and he 10x better! I am fortunate because I was hell on wheels. My kids don't get away with much around here.

 

[lisa127]

My son turned 15 in June... And he definitely has the attitude! I have to remember what I was like as a teenager and he 10x better! I am fortunate because I was hell on wheels. My kids don't get away with much around here.

My girls are halfway to 19 and 18 years old (birthdays are same week). I will say that the 13 to 16 year age group is in some ways the most difficult. In some ways it does get better as they reach their late teens.

 

[ascott]

I love my son, I love my son, I love my son....please don't let me hang him by his toes from the tree and tickle him till he peeeeessss.....this is sometimes the only chant that assures his safety after a display of young judgement....lol....

We will all make it folks....lol

 

[Nay]

Boy, did I enjoy seeing this thread!! My son, (17 as of July 1st) informed me that he did not want to spend the entire week at the beach with us and did not get the time off from his 10 hr a week job as a life guard. He said we would not get along for that long...So I did what any mother would do, called his boss and informed him that Dillon is not responsible enough to stay home alone and he would not be in for the entire week, that he is pulling a power thing to get to stay home.
(Truth be told we were actually thinking about it, but the previous weekend, he didn't attach the fence correctly after having a bonfire in our pasture and all of my horses got loose, no harm done, but it could've. Now he thinks I am just getting hysterical over the fencing.. ohhh duh!!!!
Thanks for this wonderful thread, I shall return often.
And to Sarah, yes I get the motivation thing and you were lucky he is at least interested in something enough to want to get ahead for it. Course now what will be the motivation?>
Good Luck
Nay

 

[Jacqui]

Thing is, right now this seems like such a huge issue (and it is in it's own way, I am not trying to be little it at all), but believe me in a very short time no matter what the future brings and if he does or does not learn from this, there will be some new behavior or problem and this moment will seem like no big deal. Really in the overall picture it's not that big of a deal. It's just another stage, another step, just another day in his and your life. This is the part of being a parent they never told you about in the books.

 

[pugsandkids]

Haha, you are all absolutely right! It's nice to know I'm not alone in this damn boat. This is a growing moment for him and being the smart guy that he is, I know he'll get a lot out of it. Right now it's all the immediate stuff. We are supposed to vacation in San Francisco next week and go to 6 Flags, he can't go on rides. He sees the ortho tomorrow, what if surgery has to supersede vacation? Oi, I can feel the grey hairs! He finished the soccer tournament like this...

 

[dmmj]

After watching all of my different cousins since I was 12, I honestly believe girls are easier to raise/watch. I have done very few dumb things, the dumbest was probably when I was 9, me and a family friend launched bricks at each other for about an hour until I got my big toe crushed by one.

 

[Edna]

One time my son visited me in Montana and didn't bring his contact supplies OR his glasses. We picked him up at the airport in North Dakota. "Is there anything you need while we're here?" You know, in the town where there are actual supplies available? "No." So then we drive several hundred miles to Garfield county (think 'Freemen') where our cabin was, and he announces that he doesn't have his supplies. The nearest town that would have such would be Lewistown, about 90 miles away, 10 of that on seasonal, gumbo roads. Was I a happy Mom?

My daughter was much easier.

 

[pugsandkids]

Geez, and I have two more to raise. 12 yrs and 11...
I tried to post a pic of him playing Sunday, does anyone see it?

 

[dmmj]

No does not show up