One year has passed...

MoireErin

Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jul 13, 2013
Messages
150
Location (City and/or State)
Knobs of KY
I am not sure any of you will remember me and my family, but I needed to post this anyway.

In 2013, I joined your wonderful site and was finally united with my precious and long awaited, second son (Sulcata yearling) Méraddyn. I thoroughly enjoyed regaling everyone with pictures of our first family camping trip and other family bonding progress photos: I was so warmed by your responses <3

I and my family (Méraddyn, Human offspring and hubby in the country) delved right into our new beautiful life together. Méraddyn, like my human offspring, truly enjoyed being part of our family! He did almost everything with us...dinner time, soak-soaks with his own bath toys, his own room right next to his human brother's, holiday celebrations, birthday celebration, even my own college graduation. We also enjoyed our family vacations (camping, Gatlinburg, North Carolina & the Gulf Shores)! We even outfitted my full size conversion van to suit the needs and luxuries of our 2 boys (1 human & 1 Sulcata). Méraddyn even enjoyed welcoming new rescue babies (abandoned kittens) to our family :) EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT!!!

Then our world fell apart....May 21st, 2016

My husband, human son & I had gone to a local convention (unfortunately, we weren't able to take our Méraddyn), so he stayed home with his furry brothers and sisters to watch his favorite show NCIS from his comfy bed & bask. We returned home to find our home fully engulfed in flames, with fire crews everywhere...

I jumped out of the car and began to ran to the house for my babies-screaming, but was stopped and told that there was nothing that could be done to save them. I dropped to the ground and had (what I realize now) a nervous breakdown. My human son and husband lost "it" too, though not to the degree I did, according to them. We were forced to watch our lives, hearts and souls die.

We lost 8 family members that day, plus our home. WORST DAY OF OUR LIVES.

We were able to recover most of our precious family's remains, so that we could properly lay them to rest. As a mother, I will tell you now, that when I was laying our precious son Méraddyn to rest, it took everything I could muster to not crawl in to lay with him (I hurt so badly, I begged for death). My husband and surviving son helped give me the reason to continue on. They are my strength & will.

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary that our world fell apart. We are still displaced, but are living on our property, near our lost babies resting. Our new house should be finished by the end of the summer. We have not yet been allowed to properly heal or grieve, but we continue to trudge on-hoping our peace will be soon to come.

I am sorry this post is so long, but I have been wanting to write it for a while now, hoping that my forum family can forgive me for failing to protect Méraddyn and possibly give me some help in healing. One year, and I am still so broken without him.
 

wellington

Well-Known Member
Moderator
Tortoise Club
5 Year Member
Joined
Sep 6, 2011
Messages
39,821
Location (City and/or State)
Chicago, Illinois, USA
I am so very very sorry. That is a very big heart breaking loss. You cannot blame yourself. Fires can happen from things we don't even know would cause one or is ready too. If you had known, you would have done different. Thankfully, the three of you are safe. You don't know what might had happened if you had been there, you all could have lost your lives. It will take time, but, I can promise, it will get better, the pain will go away for most of the time. You will have your bad days, but they will lesson too in time.
Remember the good times, the memories, nothing can take them from you, not even that nasty fire. When you get in your house. Make it a home again, with more four legged creatures that needs a family to love them. Make new memories, to hold onto along with the old memories.
Again, I am so sorry.
 

Yvonne G

Old Timer
TFO Admin
10 Year Member!
Platinum Tortoise Club
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
88,468
Location (City and/or State)
Clovis, CA
You have absolutely nothing to forgive yourself for. You did nothing wrong. I firmly believe everything in life happens for a reason, and we learn and grow. It's a terrible thing that happened to you, but it's now time to move on. There will never be another Merraddyn, but hopefully you will be able to move that love over to another tortoise one day. I'm so very, very sorry to hear about this loss. Please accept our condolences.
 

MoireErin

Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jul 13, 2013
Messages
150
Location (City and/or State)
Knobs of KY
Thank You So Much Everyone :<3: Your words help more than you could ever know. We spent the anniversary beginning a memorial garden for our lost babies. This weekend was extremely tough on us, but I feel that by finally beginning the memorial garden, it has helped us on our healing journey.

@Cowboy_Ken I have missed you and all my TF family too! It means so much to me that you all are not ill towards my absence and tragedy:<3:

:tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort::tort:
 

JLM

Active Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
157
Location (City and/or State)
Pensacola Florida
I'm so sorry for your loss! It's unimaginable and one of my biggest fears. I hope your new home brings you peace and with time some healing and comfort
 

Amber26

Active Member
Joined
May 5, 2017
Messages
157
Location (City and/or State)
Ontario
I am so sorry for your loss. No one could have seen a tragedy like that coming, you can not blame yourself. Possibly one day you will be able to adopt a new tortoise companion and have the memories live on. Maybe plant some edible tortoise plants in your garden? My condolences.
 

Pearly

Well-Known Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2015
Messages
5,294
Location (City and/or State)
Central Texas, Austin area
"It's unimaginable and one of my biggest fears."- as it is mine! I am so very sorry to hear of such tragic loss. My heart goes put to yours. Having myself had experienced quite a bit of devastating loss in life, I can totally relay to the feeling. We do heal over time and I hope your healing begins very soon.
 

William Lee Kohler

Well-Known Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Oct 23, 2015
Messages
776
Location (City and/or State)
Eugene, OR
I grieve with Thee! FIre destroying all of the living things both animals and Bonsai in my life is the one thing I fear most. When I have my home built it will be done as fireproof as possibly can be done.
 
Top