obsession or not

[jason g.]

/NOT

Well me and my wife recently separate. One of her reasons (but not all of course ) is that I am obsessed with me and my daughters tort rose. I don't believe it's an obsession as much as it is a commitment to take care of a creature that isn't from any where near Indiana. What do you guys think. I really spent more time making her inclosures pleasing to the human eye but as safe as possible for rose. I of course am leaning towards commitment but others may disagree. I did spend alot of time researching and I don't spend any more time than any other tort owner soaking and feeding and cleaning up after her. Well I play with her at the park but when I trained my dog 5 years ago I spent even more time in the park with her?

 

[Masin]

/NOT

Well me and my wife recently separate. One of her reasons (but not all of course ) is that I am obsessed with me and my daughters tort rose. I don't believe it's an obsession as much as it is a commitment to take care of a creature that isn't from any where near Indiana. What do you guys think. I really spent more time making her inclosures pleasing to the human eye but as safe as possible for rose. I of course am leaning towards commitment but others may disagree. I did spend alot of time researching and I don't spend any more time than any other tort owner soaking and feeding and cleaning up after her. Well I play with her at the park but when I trained my dog 5 years ago I spent even more time in the park with her?

Without knowing the whole picture (which no one ever will aside from you a d your partner...and often times even they don't know it!) we can only speculate.
I'm assuming that's it's more of 1 thing adding up with many other things that eventually break a person, a relationship etc maybe she's feeling that you aren't spending enough time on the relationship and your tort time is simply one more thing taking time away from her?
Or maybe it has nothing at all to do with the real issues.
Either way, good luck. Been going through a divorce from you know what for 2 years now. I hope if you both choose divorce that it's smooth. How old is your daughter?

 

[jpmcclure]

Awe. That's heartbreaking. If that's truly the case, then it's a shame but obviously there's gotta be something else going on there. I feel for you. I get obsessed too. And completely engrossed at times but my husband is very supportive. He'll even send me pics of Thor when I have to be away. I wish yours was the case. They are definitely a commitment but once the routine is set, I've found things to go much more smoothly. And I then have time for everything else too. But every once in a while, like with a new enclosure, they need 100% more of our attention and that's just that. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

 

[Masin]

Awe. That's heartbreaking. If that's truly the case, then it's a shame but obviously there's gotta be something else going on there. I feel for you. I get obsessed too. And completely engrossed at times but my husband is very supportive. He'll even send me pics of Thor when I have to be away. I wish yours was the case. They are definitely a commitment but once the routine is set, I've found things to go much more smoothly. And I then have time for everything else too. But every once in a while, like with a new enclosure, they need 100% more of our attention and that's just that. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

I've got an addictive personality so I get totally obsessed with things at times, like you I am so glad to of found a partner (after trial and error!) that's understands this.

 

[wellington]

Probably way more then the tort. I have been through a divorce. Some friendly advice. No matter what the situation, it is never just one persons fault. If you get a divorce, make it quick, stay friendly and fair If one or both of you are miserable married, no sense in prolonging the misery. Never use the child. Good luck in whatever happens. BTW, nice looking tort

 

[ALDABRAMAN]

Probably way more then the tort. I have been through a divorce. Some friendly advice. No matter what the situation, it is never just one persons fault. If you get a divorce, make it quick, stay friendly and fair If one or both of you are miserable married, no sense in prolonging the misery. Never use the child. Good luck in whatever happens. BTW, nice looking tort

That is hard. My tortoise program is such an involved part of my life that if my significant other was not supportive, it could be a serious issue!

 

[Tom]

It's not the tortoise man. Sorry...

 

[Laurie]

I don't think it's because of the tortoise. There had to be some underlying issues. I wouldn't say I was obsessed with my tortoises, but it is a hobby that I am getting a great deal of enjoyment and satisfaction from. I spend a lot of time researching and taking care of my torts too, my husband is happy because what I'm doing is making me happy. I can't see being angry at a loved one for doing something they enjoy. I'm sorry this Is happening to you and your wife, good luck, whatever the outcome may be.

 

[jason g.]

Yeah there is other stuff of course my daughter is 9 and it's obviously harder on her than anyone. Unfortunately this has been in the works for four years. 2 people trying to make it work for the kid when we obviously had grown in different directions over the last 13 years. Married 10 of it. The sad thing is my little girl knew it was over before we was ready to call it quits. We needless to say decided staying together just for the kids wasn't healthy for anyone. We are working it out... joint custody and all. Fortunately we both want it to be as painless and easy for everyone. The tort was one of her complaints certainly not all. But she has known me since I was 16 and I've always had some kinda crazy animals. Skunks,frogs,chinchillas, fish tanks. **** I've alway's loved and took care of our pets. Why would the tort be any different. Lol. My dog loves me so much she jumped through the screen door and wouldn't go back in. My exwife threw her food on the porch and told me I was paying for the door. Lmao I didn't call her either that's why it's funny. Plus it's like an *** backwards country song. I get my kids half the time and the dog left with me. She got the house though but that's why I'm not paying for the door. But that's our secret. Lol 10 deep breaths now I feel like I just had therapy!!!

 

[Masin]

Yeah there is other stuff of course my daughter is 9 and it's obviously harder on her than anyone. Unfortunately this has been in the works for four years. 2 people trying to make it work for the kid when we obviously had grown in different directions over the last 13 years. Married 10 of it. The sad thing is my little girl knew it was over before we was ready to call it quits. We needless to say decided staying together just for the kids wasn't healthy for anyone. We are working it out... joint custody and all. Fortunately we both want it to be as painless and easy for everyone. The tort was one of her complaints certainly not all. But she has known me since I was 16 and I've always had some kinda crazy animals. Skunks,frogs,chinchillas, fish tanks. **** I've alway's loved and took care of our pets. Why would the tort be any different. Lol. My dog loves me so much she jumped through the screen door and wouldn't go back in. My exwife threw her food on the porch and told me I was paying for the door. Lmao I didn't call her either that's why it's funny. Plus it's like an *** backwards country song. I get my kids half the time and the dog left with me. She got the house though but that's why I'm not paying for the door. But that's our secret. Lol 10 deep breaths now I feel like I just had therapy!!!

Our daughter turns 8 in a couple months. Been the longest 2 years of my life. I'm so happy to hear/read when others divorces are smooth. I wish mine were. Such is life. One day at a time!