Reads like some "bad" dialects we had in Germany too. When you have learned German and someone with such a dialect speaks to you, you think you are on the wrong planet !!!!Han't no learnen to it. It's just sumthun ya born with out here. It like this. Ya younguns come home from playing up yonder in da tater patch and ask watchya got ta eat? And you tell e'm "y'all ain't getten nuttun till ya wash y'all's filthy hands. Han't no tellen watch y'all got on e'm. Holler at ya pal when ya get done an tell him ta come on."