The Story of My Life. (Jokes)

[T33's Torts]

"I have 8 tortoises."

Here are some common questions that I'm sure you guys are familiar with.

-OMG WHY????
"Because i win at life."

-Why do you like turtles so much?
"Because I'm secretly a reptile"

-Turtles smell.
"Negatively positive."

-Are you nuts?
"Yes but that has nothing to do with this."

-When did you get them?
"1753."

-Do they poop a lot?
"Dont you?"

-Are you going to eat them?
"I'd eat my arm first."

-Can i touch one?
"Negative."

-HOW do you tell them apart!?
"How do you tell your kids apart?"

-How much did they cost?
"Oh, around a million a piece. More for the males."

-You're insane.
"I know."

-Why dont you like normal pets?
"Pineapples like to love."

-That didnt make sence.
"Neither does you."



And that my friends, is the story of my life.
**not the One Direction song.

 

[tort_luv_5055]

Lol!!! Thanks for the laugh! [FACE WITH TEARS OF JOY]

 

[Cowboy_Ken]

I found it. I like it. Mainly the pineapple bit. I'll be using that myself.

 

[mike taylor]

Good answers to some questions I have been asked myself . To funny people can be really dumb .

 

[T33's Torts]

This is what comes of 2 hours of sleep and coffee.

 

[wellington]

LOL, love it. Have had some asked too me myself too. Your good with only two hors sleep and lots of coffee

 

[T33's Torts]

This is more like the after wave! At first I was like shaking and mumbling what probably sounded like "coffeetortsouchwaternahcoffeegoodtiffanytired"

---

I found it. I like it. Mainly the pineapple bit. I'll be using that myself.

Can never go wrong with fruit romance.

 

[wellington]

This is more like the after wave! At first I was like shaking and mumbling what probably sounded like "coffeetortsouchwaternahcoffeegoodtiffanytired"

---

I found it. I like it. Mainly the pineapple bit. I'll be using that myself.

Can never go wrong with fruit romance.

---

LMAO

 

[Moozillion]

LOVE IT!!!!

 

[Jacqui]

 

[T33's Torts]

thanks all, its just my weirdness written out.

 

[Grandpa Turtle 144]

I love it also , it sound like a normal day at work !!!!!

 

[T33's Torts]

It's become a regular thing.

 

[tort_luv_5055]

Here are a few more:

What does it eat?!
Hamburgers and fries.

Dont tortoises get huge?
Yeah, like twice the size of your house.

What if someone steals it?
How about I steal your child and we find out.

Does it go to the vet?
Do you go to the doctor?

What about Salmenolla?
Oh yeah, I have that right now, its super contagious. *cue violent coughing*,

 

[T33's Torts]

LOL!! I love the last one!

 

[Cowboy_Ken]

I was asked once by an adult who was very serious, and speaking with knowledge, “Now, they can crawl out of the shell, right?" I corrected him. When relaying the conversation to my wife, I told her I said, “Well of course they can! Where do you think we get those big lizards from?".

 

[T33's Torts]

LOL! So THATS where the big lizards come from?? I didnt know that!

 

[Cowboy_Ken]

Gilas=CDT
Savanna monitors=sulcata

You get the logical pace here. Lol.

 

[tort_luv_5055]

The ploughsphare tortoises are anoles lol and aldabras are komodo dragons

 

[T33's Torts]

No wonder there's so many lizards 'round here!