fostering and or adopting...humans this time :)

[lismar79]

My husband and I have a house full of critters but no children. We really want children but sometimes your own plans for life don't line up I guess. We are just finishing up (tomorrow!) with our home study and will be licensed foster to adopt parents awaiting placement. We are too excited and a little scared. Any one have any experience they can share? Advice?

 

[russian/sulcata/tortoise]

wow thats so cool! are you fostering a certain age group of kids like babies or teenagers?

 

[lismar79]

We are leaving it pretty open to any age. It will depend on the kid or kids if we find siblings

 

[sissyofone]

I think what your doing is AWESOME. It takes a special kind of person/persons to do this. Theres so many children today who need loving families. I was blessed with (3) beautiful children of my own, And have helped raise at least that many more. Congrats to you and husband. Im sure you will make a difference in a childs life while fulfilling your own. I wish you nothing but the best. Good Luck to you all.

 

[Jabuticaba]

My husband and I have a house full of critters but no children. We really want children but sometimes your own plans for life don't line up I guess. We are just finishing up (tomorrow!) with our home study and will be licensed foster to adopt parents awaiting placement. We are too excited and a little scared. Any one have any experience they can share? Advice?

I'm childless by choice. I'm too selfish about my personal space, bordering on antisocial. Dogs are my favourite people.

I really have no advice. Just wanted to say I do admire your courage and wish you all the best.


May
THBs: Darwin & Merlin
Aussies: Dax, Vegas, & Cricket
IG: @AUSSOMEAUSSIES

 

[chaseswife]

Hurray for you guys! My mom fought with fertility issues most of her life. She managed to have 3 biological living children and multiple miscarriages when they decided to do foster care. I was 10 or 11 when they started the foster process. They ended up adopting my 3 youngest brothers. They are biological brothers- the first one came to live with us when he was 6 months old, the 2nd came to our house straight out of the hospital, and the 3rd brother came when he was about 3 months old. They tried for years to reunite them with their biological mom but she made so many poor choices we adopted all 3 of them when the youngest was 2 1/2. It had always been a lot of extra work, but I love my brothers so much (all 5 of them- i am the only girl! ). They struggled a little bit when they learned about the adoption- but i always tell them that mom and dad didn't give anybody a choice about the biological siblings, but when we decided to do foster care the whole family was involved. We had so many family meetings to make sure everybody was on board it was almost silly. If anyone of us had said we didn't want to apt they would have stopped the process, but we didn't stop it because we feel in love with those little boys and would never ever want them to live anywhere else.

 

[Jodie]

Wow. Congrats and God Bless you and your future family.

 

[mike taylor]

I think thats awesome . I know people that do it . Most of the time it's good and rewarding . But you do get troubled kids some times that make it hard but all they need is someone who cares and they can trust. Then you're right back to the rewarding part . My neighbor adopted two five year old tween boys last year . Their mother was a dope head and the state got them . They adopted them it was hard for them little guys at first . But now they are family calling them mom and dad . They were a handful at first bad mouths and mean as a bears. But love and attention is all they needed to come around .

 

[Prairie Mom]

My husband and I have a house full of critters but no children. We really want children but sometimes your own plans for life don't line up I guess. We are just finishing up (tomorrow!) with our home study and will be licensed foster to adopt parents awaiting placement. We are too excited and a little scared. Any one have any experience they can share? Advice?

Hey lismar My husband and I were legal guardians of a teenage girl when we were in our early twenties. The teen we raised is now married with kids! I have 2 bio children and 2 adopted children, plus nearly ALL of my extended family have been adopted themselves. Adopted family members far outnumber the bio members in my and my husband's family and we and/or people we are extremely close to have probably been through every good and challenging experience you hear about when discussing adoption. I know you're asking for advice, but is there something specific that is on your mind? Adoption is such a HUGE topic, is far more complicated than birth-parenting in every way, and there are endless considerations. I'm a pretty open book, so feel free to ask away I do have a close friend who did Foster to Adopt. She adopted two children and I would guess nearly 50 children went in and out of her home during the time that they were trying to adopt. I know it can be a pretty tough thing to go through (I'm not sure I'm strong enough to do it!), but what wouldn't you do to find your family!?Right!? Good luck to you guys and let me know if I can do anything to help!

 

[lismar79]

Thanks all! Mostly what we struggle with is how do we choose, I feel kinda awful looking at these listings knowing they all need a home. The other big one is, how to you help them adjust. We have taken the classes but its all pretty vauge. I have read a million books, blogs, and talk to friends with bio kids but we are in a program were these kids are coming out of bad situations so its not going to be easy we know. We are ready, don't get me wrong, but I guess it just does not hurt to ask for more advice

 

[Abdulla6169]

That's a great thing your doing You seem like a really nice person!

 

[smarch]

I can't give advice since i'm not in the process yet and am young, but I'm watching this thread now since I know I will be going through this years down the road, since I wont be having my own biological kids down the road (I wont have a husband, I'll have a wife and would rather take a kid that needs a home than have a kid that's only one of ours) And I do plan to foster to adopt any age and siblings (its only fair they stick together) from any background so I may get an older kid with a rough past and want to know how to make them comfortable and trusting as best I can, so if you or any poster here finds books that are good I'd love to know, i'm only 21 and don't plan for the process until much later in life but this is something never too early to know about!

Best of luck and you're doing such a good thing!

 

[chaseswife]

The best advice I have is just to love them and make sure they know that you love them. There are so many variables that we could never plan out what exactly you should do. But as long as there is love it will work out. It won't always be easy- even without the added trial of children changing homes, raising children is hard work. Just do your best and love the children. No matter what- even if they do everything they can to push you away and test your boundaries. All children need love.

 

[Prairie Mom]

Thanks all! Mostly what we struggle with is how do we choose, I feel kinda awful looking at these listings knowing they all need a home. The other big one is, how to you help them adjust. We have taken the classes but its all pretty vauge. I have read a million books, blogs, and talk to friends with bio kids but we are in a program were these kids are coming out of bad situations so its not going to be easy we know. We are ready, don't get me wrong, but I guess it just does not hurt to ask for more advice

Well, I have some comforting news for you: "Choosing" is actually the EASIEST thing in the world. I'm sure that is surprising news, but please allow me to share my experience... We did two foreign adoptions, more specifically two foreign special needs adoptions. We have no preference about whether adoptions are domestic or foreign, we just believe we were spiritually guided to our children and that is where they happened to be. I mention our type of adoption because the group of children we were adopting from are highly unlikely to be placed in homes. Many many of these children age out of the orphanages and are just kicked out into the streets without any support network and don't survive.--HORRIFIC!

We had to go through a lot of red tape to get to the point in our adoption where we could view photos and detailed case files of the "waiting children" we were looking into. I was TERRIFIED of the day when I would have access to the photos of all these specific children, because the reality is that who we don't adopt will most likely meet a terrible fate that often includes starvation and death. I can't even tell you the emotions I went through when we prepared to take a look at our possible adoptees.

But then, the strangest thing happened... I was looking at all these photos and descriptions. Yes, of course, it hurt me to see these kids in need of a home and I wanted to help them all, BUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WERE NOT MINE. The experience both my husband and I had could be compared to looking at a school class photo of your child's class. All the kids are cute and adorable, but looking at those other kids is not the same as looking at YOUR OWN CHILD. When my husband and I were searching through profiles we found two children that were OURS in every way. Looking at them felt the exact same way it did my first biological child who was already with us.

The decision was the easiest decision in the world. Two of those children were mine ---without ANY DOUBT--MINE, and the rest were not. I still think of the faces I saw. I still follow the stories of some of those children, but they simply were not mine. When it is right, I promise you and your husband WILL KNOW. There truly will not be any doubts or questions. It will be very clear.

 

[lismar79]

Well, I have some comforting news for you: "Choosing" is actually the EASIEST thing in the world. I'm sure that is surprising news, but please allow me to share my experience... We did two foreign adoptions, more specifically two foreign special needs adoptions. We have no preference about whether adoptions are domestic or foreign, we just believe we were spiritually guided to our children and that is where they happened to be. I mention our type of adoption because the group of children we were adopting from are highly unlikely to be placed in homes. Many many of these children age out of the orphanages and are just kicked out into the streets without any support network and don't survive.--HORRIFIC!

We had to go through a lot of red tape to get to the point in our adoption where we could view photos and detailed case files of the "waiting children" we were looking into. I was TERRIFIED of the day when I would have access to the photos of all these specific children, because the reality is that who we don't adopt will most likely meet a terrible fate that often includes starvation and death. I can't even tell you the emotions I went through when we prepared to take a look at our possible adoptees.

But then, the strangest thing happened... I was looking at all these photos and descriptions. Yes, of course, it hurt me to see these kids in need of a home and I wanted to help them all, BUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WERE NOT MINE. The experience both my husband and I had could be compared to looking at a school class photo of your child's class. All the kids are cute and adorable, but looking at those other kids is not the same as looking at YOUR OWN CHILD. When my husband and I were searching through profiles we found two children that were OURS in every way. Looking at them felt the exact same way it did my first biological child who was already with us.

The decision was the easiest decision in the world. Two of those children were mine ---without ANY DOUBT--MINE, and the rest were not. I still think of the faces I saw. I still follow the stories of some of those children, but they simply were not mine. When it is right, I promise you and your husband WILL KNOW. There truly will not be any doubts or questions. It will be very clear.

Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I do believe that everything happens for a reason & we will end up with the child or children we are meant to. It just breaks your heart knowing there are sooooo many in need.

 

[Prairie Mom]

Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I do believe that everything happens for a reason & we will end up with the child or children we are meant to. It just breaks your heart knowing there are sooooo many in need.

Keep up that faith and you will be lead to your child. Right now you are on the path to your child and they are out there somewhere. We began our adoption domestically and ended up in a totally different situation than we had predicted. I'm glad to hear that you are already trusting that things will happen as they are meant to. That is sooo important in these big decisions.

 

[Yellow Turtle01]

Congratulations! I hope it goes very well! I support adoption, and I really hope this works out for you guys, and that everyone ends up happy. Good luck on everything!

 

[Abdulla6169]

If you need to pick between a few, pick the one you feel comfortable seeing... The one your soul feels comfortable seeing

 

[lismar79]

Thanks everyone! We just filled out the last of our paperwork today & our home passed inspection, we should be licensed by the end of the week

 

[Delilah1623]

I don't have any advice but congratulations and good luck! Keep us posted!

I hope to go the adoption route one day as well.