I need help telling someone to stop stressing my tort out.

Helena F.

Active Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
165
Location (City and/or State)
San Francisco, CA United States
Hi,
I think you can tell from the title that I'm not confrontational about this. I'm staying at my grandma's house for the next month while we are getting ready to move into our new home. I love my grandma but she keeps picking up my tortoise, and I can tell it stresses him out, because he tries to climb off of her. I tried to tell her to please stop picking him up and she got all mad. I went away for a day and a half for some house stuff and she watched over him ( which was super nice). I told her how much to feed him, and what he should and shouldn't eat and that he had his vitamins and calcium powder the night before. I came back and he had a lump on his nose and she told me that she fed him at least three times in one day, and gave him foods I specifically told her not to. The main thing she gave him was cauliflower. Now, as a side note, that is my torts favorite treat, but I didn't know that it was bad and I stopped giving it to him a while ago. He gets it once a month MAX and very little. Well she gave him a lot and I was very upset. My mom keeps telling me to let it go but I can't. She's harming him, not helping him, and I've had enough. It stresses me out and she keeps joking that my dog is gonna kill my tortoise, even though they aren't even allowed in the same room. The main thing is that he had a URI and now some sort of bump on his nose, and I'm trying to keep him from getting stressed, and her doing those things just makes him stressed. What do I do?

Sorry I know this is random but I feel better asking other people who know a lot about tortoises about how to go about this, especially if there is evidence that its not good for him.
 

lionheartHC

Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
88
Location (City and/or State)
OH
I mean there's unfortunately nothing we can do if she's not listening to your requests. I'm not sure what the question is but maybe tell her to please not feed the tortoise and you would need to take care of it full time instead of having her help. I'm not sure of your age but having a tort is no different than having a dog. It's a commitment that you sign up for. Tell her that is she's not going to comply with your rules then just leave it alone.
 

Helena F.

Active Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
165
Location (City and/or State)
San Francisco, CA United States
Haha yeah I kind of went on a rant there. I take care of my tortoise full time and I only went away for that one day and she fed him a lot. When he is in his enclosure she will go in and get him out, even if he's sleeping. Or if he is out in the yard with me, she picks him up and keeps him from getting exercise. What I am trying to ask is how do I tell her that what she is doing is stressing him out and is making things worse for him?
 

KarenSoCal

Well-Known Member
Tortoise Club
Platinum Tortoise Club
Joined
Jul 8, 2017
Messages
5,202
Location (City and/or State)
Low desert 50 mi SE of Palm Springs CA
Possible conversation:
You, after just coming back from being away for the day: GMa, did you give anything to Tortie to eat while I was out?

GMa: sure. Cauliflower!

You: Did you feed the dog some chocolate?

GMa: no! of course not!

You: why not?

GMa: you know chocolate is bad for dogs!

You: cauliflower and being picked up is bad for tortoises! You don't feed the dog bad stuff, but you do the tort! Why??

Or something like this.

Or just ask her if she respects you. If she says yes, then ask why won't she respect your wishes?

It's tough being 15 years old. I'd sure never go back to that time!
 

Srmcclure

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 10, 2020
Messages
1,684
Location (City and/or State)
Oklahoma city
Is your tortoise in a table? Is there any way you can 'lock' your tortie in its enclosure so she can't get it out?

Maybe spend time with your Gma in another room so she's busy away from your tortoise? Hate to say it, but our torties arent going to miss us by seeing us less for a month lol

You could also print off Toms care guide for her to read and maybe she'll figure some of it out without much intervention from you. "Hey grandma! I see how much you like (enter cute torties name) so I printed this off for you! I thought you might enjoy it!"
 

AgataP

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
629
Location (City and/or State)
Seattle, WA
Lock the grandma in the basement throw away the key ... haha sorry just kidding, hang the key on the wall.

I had to be “mean” and firm with my friends kids. They were asking every few minutes can we touch it, can we hold it. No no no no.
I said don’t touch the enclosure.
They wouldn’t listen finally I had to be firm and say don’t touch do I knock on your plate when you eating? Do I yell when you want to sleep ? Finally Herbie pooped I said see what you did you made him poop.
They left him alone.

I think it is just exciting for people, and new.
She is trying to be nice but man I know how you feeling. Maybe your tortoise will pee on her and she will stop.

Also think about it - it’s short term soon you will be in the new house with your tortoise.
 

Helena F.

Active Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
165
Location (City and/or State)
San Francisco, CA United States
HAHAHA thanks so much. I talked to her and I just made it about my tortoise ( his name is Poseidon). She wasn't happy but she needs to respect it because he's not in his usual environment with his big enclosure. He's temporarily in a big bin with no lid and substrate ( medical reasons. Im using paper towels. It's only temporary ) so he feels exposed. I can always rely on you guys to make me laugh and brighten my day. Poseidon thanks you too!
 

Jodipg82

Member
Joined
May 10, 2020
Messages
81
Location (City and/or State)
Oviedo
Hi,
I think you can tell from the title that I'm not confrontational about this. I'm staying at my grandma's house for the next month while we are getting ready to move into our new home. I love my grandma but she keeps picking up my tortoise, and I can tell it stresses him out, because he tries to climb off of her. I tried to tell her to please stop picking him up and she got all mad. I went away for a day and a half for some house stuff and she watched over him ( which was super nice). I told her how much to feed him, and what he should and shouldn't eat and that he had his vitamins and calcium powder the night before. I came back and he had a lump on his nose and she told me that she fed him at least three times in one day, and gave him foods I specifically told her not to. The main thing she gave him was cauliflower. Now, as a side note, that is my torts favorite treat, but I didn't know that it was bad and I stopped giving it to him a while ago. He gets it once a month MAX and very little. Well she gave him a lot and I was very upset. My mom keeps telling me to let it go but I can't. She's harming him, not helping him, and I've had enough. It stresses me out and she keeps joking that my dog is gonna kill my tortoise, even though they aren't even allowed in the same room. The main thing is that he had a URI and now some sort of bump on his nose, and I'm trying to keep him from getting stressed, and her doing those things just makes him stressed. What do I do?

Sorry I know this is random but I feel better asking other people who know a lot about tortoises about how to go about this, especially if there is evidence that its not good for him.
Sounds like my mother in law...she asked me if she could put my Leo hatchling on the kitchen counter and watch him walk around while she video taped him /:
 

GMDVM

Member
Joined
Oct 10, 2020
Messages
77
Location (City and/or State)
Ionia New York
Tell your grandma that you are afraid and worried that she could get salmonellosis from touching the tortoise They almost always carry it. Express your concern for her health and safety. Maybe that will convince her
 

lmichaels_22

Member
Tortoise Club
Platinum Tortoise Club
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
55
Location (City and/or State)
Olympia, WA
Hi,
I think you can tell from the title that I'm not confrontational about this. I'm staying at my grandma's house for the next month while we are getting ready to move into our new home. I love my grandma but she keeps picking up my tortoise, and I can tell it stresses him out, because he tries to climb off of her. I tried to tell her to please stop picking him up and she got all mad. I went away for a day and a half for some house stuff and she watched over him ( which was super nice). I told her how much to feed him, and what he should and shouldn't eat and that he had his vitamins and calcium powder the night before. I came back and he had a lump on his nose and she told me that she fed him at least three times in one day, and gave him foods I specifically told her not to. The main thing she gave him was cauliflower. Now, as a side note, that is my torts favorite treat, but I didn't know that it was bad and I stopped giving it to him a while ago. He gets it once a month MAX and very little. Well she gave him a lot and I was very upset. My mom keeps telling me to let it go but I can't. She's harming him, not helping him, and I've had enough. It stresses me out and she keeps joking that my dog is gonna kill my tortoise, even though they aren't even allowed in the same room. The main thing is that he had a URI and now some sort of bump on his nose, and I'm trying to keep him from getting stressed, and her doing those things just makes him stressed. What do I do?

Sorry I know this is random but I feel better asking other people who know a lot about tortoises about how to go about this, especially if there is evidence that its not good for him.
Perhaps she needs the feeding list on paper and as some has said make sure she is told other foods are harmful. But a list on paper may help!!
 

Obbie

Active Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
Messages
112
Location (City and/or State)
Minnesota
Hi,
I think you can tell from the title that I'm not confrontational about this. I'm staying at my grandma's house for the next month while we are getting ready to move into our new home. I love my grandma but she keeps picking up my tortoise, and I can tell it stresses him out, because he tries to climb off of her. I tried to tell her to please stop picking him up and she got all mad. I went away for a day and a half for some house stuff and she watched over him ( which was super nice). I told her how much to feed him, and what he should and shouldn't eat and that he had his vitamins and calcium powder the night before. I came back and he had a lump on his nose and she told me that she fed him at least three times in one day, and gave him foods I specifically told her not to. The main thing she gave him was cauliflower. Now, as a side note, that is my torts favorite treat, but I didn't know that it was bad and I stopped giving it to him a while ago. He gets it once a month MAX and very little. Well she gave him a lot and I was very upset. My mom keeps telling me to let it go but I can't. She's harming him, not helping him, and I've had enough. It stresses me out and she keeps joking that my dog is gonna kill my tortoise, even though they aren't even allowed in the same room. The main thing is that he had a URI and now some sort of bump on his nose, and I'm trying to keep him from getting stressed, and her doing those things just makes him stressed. What do I do?

Sorry I know this is random but I feel better asking other people who know a lot about tortoises about how to go about this, especially if there is evidence that its not good for him.
Do you know someone, that you could trust with him ? She is a manipulative mean person. I’m sure she’s been that way forever. Sorry it’s your Grandma, but I’m a Grandma also. don’t take her crap !
 

Chefdenoel10

Well-Known Member
Tortoise Club
Joined
Oct 12, 2018
Messages
2,753
Location (City and/or State)
New Jersey
HAHAHA thanks so much. I talked to her and I just made it about my tortoise ( his name is Poseidon). She wasn't happy but she needs to respect it because he's not in his usual environment with his big enclosure. He's temporarily in a big bin with no lid and substrate ( medical reasons. Im using paper towels. It's only temporary ) so he feels exposed. I can always rely on you guys to make me laugh and brighten my day. Poseidon thanks you too!

All that’s left to say is...
When Grammy comes to bother your tortoise and she has him in hand you calmly .......
Stick your finger in her nose!!!!!!
Or pull her hair in a constant motion...
Maybe then... and only then she will see how annoying THAT is ..
and see how Poseidon feels about being tormented!!...
I am sorry that you are going through all of this.
Maybe grandma needs some “attention” of her own?
Go have a tea with her and tell her she looks beautiful today.
And lastly.....
Put a ROCK (the same size as your tort in the bin and hide Poseidon somewhere else for a short while...
when she takes it out YELL....
“OH MY GOD!! SEE WHAT YOU DID?
YOU'VE KILLED HIM BY PICKING HIM UP SO MUCH!!!” Lol 🤪
That should do it!
Anyway, glad you came here for help.
Once this is all over please stay awhile and don’t disappear.
We love giving advice... even if sometimes it’s naughty...😳❤️
 
Top