'I lied to my dad".. Parenting.

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Vishnu2

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i-lied-to-my-dad-parenting.jpg

So, as I parent I feel like it's my duty to question my own parenting constantly. I check in with myself if you will. For example before I do something I ask myself. "Why am I really saying no". " Does his/her punishment fit his/her crime". I check in because I want to be a fair parent. I want to be the best parent I can be to my child and I don't want to be lazy about it. So, when I saw this picture I questioned it. Would this be something I would do? And now I ask you, would you as a parent do this?


I also apologize Dmmj if you have seen this post a million times, I did a search and didn't see any previous postings.
 
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JeffG

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No, I wouldn't do that to any of my 5 kids. I don't think public humilation is necessary in almost any case. I DO think lying is a serious matter though, and needs to be addressed immediately. I just wouldn't do it that way.
 

ascott

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Yes, as a single mother to a son I absolutely would. Now, with that being said---I of course would attempt to handle the situation a bit differently the first time...however, lying is a huge flaw in character (in my book anyways) and in the end all we all truly own is our character....

I give props to that Dad, I would "guess" that he likely has had other issues as is displayed in the posture of attitude that little lady is displaying...I mean, if I were going to go to this extreme to abruptly and to leave my son without question as to how serious lying is...I would have his butt out on the corner waiving that sign like the sign waivers get paid to do....

After all, the Dad is out there also and I am sure he is not the proudest of his child but he is standing right there along side her....
 

Vishnu2

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JeffG said:
No, I wouldn't do that to any of my 5 kids. I don't think public humilation is necessary in almost any case. I DO think lying is a serious matter though, and needs to be addressed immediately. I just wouldn't do it that way.

How old are they?
 

CourtneyAndCarl

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I am still a teenager, and I can honestly say that being forced to do this would have been a much better punishment than anything my mom came up with for anything.
 

JeffG

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Vishnu2 said:
JeffG said:
No, I wouldn't do that to any of my 5 kids. I don't think public humilation is necessary in almost any case. I DO think lying is a serious matter though, and needs to be addressed immediately. I just wouldn't do it that way.

How old are they?

My kids range from 14 - 20 years old.
 

Vishnu2

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ascott said:
Yes, as a single mother to a son I absolutely would. Now, with that being said---I of course would attempt to handle the situation a bit differently the first time...however, lying is a huge flaw in character (in my book anyways) and in the end all we all truly own is our character....

I give props to that Dad, I would "guess" that he likely has had other issues as is displayed in the posture of attitude that little lady is displaying...I mean, if I were going to go to this extreme to abruptly and to leave my son without question as to how serious lying is...I would have his butt out on the corner waiving that sign like the sign waivers get paid to do....

After all, the Dad is out there also and I am sure he is not the proudest of his child but he is standing right there along side her....

Ascott,
Do you think it matters the age of a child? For instance, I have a 3 year old who would obviously play with the sign and giggle. However, I have a 15 year old who would cry and get very dramatic. Hating every min.

I put my daughter who is 15 years old now in timeout in the middle of JcPenny's at the mall 3 years ago for whining and arguing with me. I warned her and once she didn't stop I placed her in timeout. She hasn't repeated the behavior again. I just asked her if she remembered. She got a look on her face told me yes and recited why she went to time out in the first place. Interesting what they remember.
 

ascott

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Ascott,
Do you think it matters the age of a child? For instance, I have a 3 year old who would obviously play with the sign and giggle. However, I have a 15 year old who would cry and get very dramatic. Hating every min.

I put my daughter who is 15 years old now in timeout in the middle of JcPenny's at the mall 3 years ago for whining and arguing with me. I warned her and once she didn't stop I placed her in timeout. She hasn't repeated the behavior again. I just asked her if she remembered. She got a look on her face told me yes and recited why she went to time out in the first place. Interesting what they remember.

Oh absolutely. A three year old would certainly plop down on the ground and ask for crayons to color the sign....lol....I personally believe that a child at three does not ideally understand from start to finish what lying is, by definition of the word I mean. Very different method would and was used by myself when my son was that age and wanted to tell his grand stories and recount the event in his eyes :p

I think that is fantastic that your daughter recalls the moment (I bet she feels the moment when ever she recalls it--likely she will have that tool in her life belt for when she is faced with the same in her life...lol...well, lets hope she gets to relive your side of the event--then she will fully get it and likely will laugh really hard to herself) good job Mom....:D

I recall that when I was coming up, I just knew what was right and wrong---now, as an adult I know I was not just dropped on this earth knowing...so, I am sure the village I grew up in all had their hand in the variety of methods of offering rearing to me and I am grateful....I love when my son is somewhere and it is reported back to me that he was such a lovely young man and was so courteous and respectful...these are the kindest and most important things a Mom (parent) can ever be given....the most wonderful thing in my life was to be blessed with being the sons mother....truly he is a blessing.....but on that flip side of the coin, I will come down like the wrath of Mom on his butt when he needs it and requests it with undesirable behavior....lol....my son is going to be 13 in about a week....I see glimpses of this "teenage" creature so many warn of....lol....I hope we both make it through as well as we have up to this point....wish us well...please.
 

Kerryann

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I am in the process of trying to have a child but parenting has really changed from the way I was raised. We don't know from the sign if it was a major, minor, or critical lie. I think that plays a factor. We don't know how many other methods the father had tried to curb the lying or if he knew his son and knew that this was the best way to get his attention.
When I was growing up and I got in serious trouble. I would get talked to and put in my room. Then I'd have to go out and pick my willow switch. It had to be a good switch and not a dried up twig or my pa would pick the switch for me. He or my mom would come into the room after like another 20 minutes of waiting and talk to me about what I had done wrong and spank me. They didn't beat me but I know I can't do that with my kids or I will go to jail. I think child abuse is horrible but rather than curbing that issue they went too far and stopped an effective method of parenting. I only was in trouble to the point of a switching like two times so it was effective. Who knows what this guy had tried to keep his son on the straight and narrow.
 

GBtortoises

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Having a 22, a 19 and a 14 year old myself, my wife and I have been through and are still in the middle of it all! In my opinion this is a "sign" of absolute poor parenting. Public humiliation isn't parenting, it's laziness on the part of the parent-a percieved "quick fix". I'd personally like to make a big sign for the father to wear around his neck in public that says: "I'm a lazy parent".
Young kids lie innocently, until they realize or are taught that doing so can get them what they want, or out of what they don't want. The facts are that everyone lies, including us parents and everyone else. Some big, some small. How many here have called in sick to work to get a day off to do something else? How many have made an excuse of having an appointment or something because they didn't want to attend something else? How many have lied to try to get out of a ticket? I have on all accounts! I'm not saying that it's right, but we all do it. Kids learn to lie from their peers and their parents. It's up to the parents to acknowledge what their children are doing, both good and bad and to deal with it accordingly. Talking, explaining, restricting, etc... if need be as a form of consequence to an action. Making your kid stand out on a public street with a big sign around his neck stating that he is a liar is not a productive form of discipline. It's simply humiliation. It shows your kid that you don't want to deal with him the way that you should. Does the guy think that after this situation that his kid is ever going to come to him with any questions or problems? If his father's solution is humiliation? I wonder if he is the same father that would make is son walk around all day if wet pants if the kid pee'd himself accidently? Or with his finger taped to his nostril if he picked his nose?

As far as the whole spanking thing-let it go! The only purpose of spanking a child is to satisfy parental frustration and in some cases anger. It's not discipline and it's not productive. It's the same thing as beating your dog because it pee'd on the floor. It's pointless. And yes, I was spanked occasionally as a child too. It did nothing. Our first child was very "easy" in every way. Never in trouble, A student, sports jock, has still never done any drugs, etc... The middle one was (and is) the complete opposite, hell-raiser, partier and on and on. She's not a bad kid, in fact she's a sweetheart, just a wild one! When she was little we spanked her probably a dozen times. Until I realized that it was doing nothing at all. It didn't change her ways, she still did what she did, she was not made any better because of it. What did work was explanation and consequences. Don't get me wrong I'm not the philisophical type, anyone that knows me well knows that I'm crude and rough around the edges. But I am also always looking for the most effective way to get my point across, no matter what the subject may be. Take away the computer, the cell phone, the tv, going to friends houses, other priviledges, etc... Turning their read end red and sending them to their room saying "Think about what you did" doesn't do anything except temporarily satisfy parental frustration. They think about the stinging in their rear end for the short time that it is there and that's it. Nothing lost on their part. While they may fear being spanked it doesn't prevent anything from happening again. Just like beating your dog when he pees on the floor he didn't really learn that he's not supposed to pee on the floor, because he already did it. He learned that when you come at him hollering with your hand up that he is going to get beat again. Instead he needs to be trained, taught where to go pee and when before it happens on the floor again. Parenting is teaching. It's always best to teach a lesson to a child before the problem occurs, but you can't be prepared for eveything that comes along. Because while parenting is teaching, it is also learning-for the child and the parent. My wife and I are nearing the end of our parenting with the two older ones out of the house, in college and nearly on their own. They're adults now, good ones I might add. But we still have a 14 year old girl at home and it seems like evry day something new comes up that didn't happen with the older two. We're still learning as parents, even though we've been at it awhile. Spanking (and humiliation) is a result of an attempt at a quick fix to a problem that was not dealt with when it should have been in the form that it should have been. Parenting is a 24 hour a day job, 7 days a weeks, 365 days a year, for a long, long time.
 

AustinASU

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I'd say when I have kids that i wouldn't do this, but if it affected their integrity....then you bet I would do this.
 

TylerStewart

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Saw this site today and it totally made me think of this thread....

http://dog-shaming.com/

For the record, this isn't animal cruelty. Let's not start that debate.
 

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wellington

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TylerStewart said:
Saw this site today and it totally made me think of this thread....

http://dog-shaming.com/

For the record, this isn't animal cruelty. Let's not start that debate.

That is great. My dog has done about half of those things. She would have a very long record:)
 

CourtneyAndCarl

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Hahahaha!!! Wow... that is... wow.

Personally, I'd do this to a bratty kid in a heartbeat. When a child humiliates his/her parents, they deserve to be humiliated right back.
 
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