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Hello- looking for some mourning guidance

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Josephines friend, Jun 13, 2019.

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  1. Josephines friend

    Josephines friend New Member

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    Good evening everybody.

    Today is a sad day for me as I lost my friend Josephine. She left us this morning at 4 am to join our other beloved pets in heaven. I found out a couple hours later.

    She was with a reptile expert vet for surgery that was attempted Monday to correct a cyst that we were told could present serious problems if It were left. The surgery wasn’t successful as we tried the least invasive way first.
    Our dear Josephine never woke up from the anesthetic and slipped into a coma. Her heart had been beating as strong as ever while the vet attempted everything to bring her back to us. We were told she didn’t suffer but I am suffering.
    Josephine was quite the character and so completely missed- I’m devastated. She was approximately 60-70 years old (I don’t know for sure as she was passed to us from
    A family Member). I’m having so much trouble reconciling all the decisions I made while I had her over the last 7 years- including the decision to go ahead with the surgery. My only comfort comes from knowing she didn’t suffer and she’s in heaven with the family member that had her first and the dogs we’ve lost over the years.

    I know from all the threads I’ve read grief is tough and everybody says it will get easier but how when you have a yard full
    Of Hibiscus that have nobody to enjoy them
    Now?
  2. wellington

    wellington Well-Known Member Moderator

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    So very sorry. You did the best you could and was trying to make the rest of her life better by having the surgery. No way you could have known she wouldn't come out of it.
    Maybe in time you will adopt a tort needing a better home. What a great way to honor the one you lost.
    There is no time limit to grieving. It takes as long as it takes for each individual situation. But it will get better that I can say.
    drew54 likes this.
  3. Josephines friend

    Josephines friend New Member

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    Thank you for your kind words.
  4. Lyn W

    Lyn W Well-Known Member

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    Hello and I am so very sorry for your loss of an obviously greatly loved member of your family.
    There is no way of knowing if the cyst would have caused serious problems for Josephine if left but you did your best for her and followed the advice of someone you trusted to know about your torts health, which is all any of us can do . Surgery is always risky with any animal and it is devastating for you that she didn't make it. I hope in time you will take comfort in the fact that you always had her best interests at heart and this is something you had no control over.
    Take care.
    ZEROPILOT likes this.
  5. Josephines friend

    Josephines friend New Member

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    Thank you for being so kind. I appreciate the advice. She was so incredibly special for so many reasons - I am trying to wrap my mind around all of it. Thank you for reaching out.
    ZEROPILOT likes this.
  6. Cheryl Hills

    Cheryl Hills Well-Known Member

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    So sorry. There are no words to say how you feel. Keep her alive in your memory, all the good times.
  7. Yvonne G

    Yvonne G Old Timer TFO Admin

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    I'm so very sorry about Josephine. Was she a tortoise? Anesthesia is always hard on tortoises. This is going to leave a pretty big hole in your life after having her with your for such a long time. You'll never forget her, but it does get easier to deal with the loss as time goes on.
  8. dmmj

    dmmj The member formerly known as captain awesome Moderator

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    Sadly similar circumstance with maggie and king bob. No one knows how any surgery will turn out. Know you had her best interests at :<3:. It takes time but it does get easier
  9. vladimir

    vladimir Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Your comment about the hibiscus made me teary-eyed.
  10. Mizcreant

    Mizcreant Well-Known Member Tortoise Club

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    My sincere condolences. Never easy losing a friend. One of my dogs chased a cat across the street and got hit by my neighbor's truck. I ran out and picked him up (still alive). Tongue and one eye hanging out. Short struggling breaths. I kept my hand on his heart the whole time I carried him up to the house. When I reached the house, his little heart stopped beating. I was devastated. It's never an easy thing to go through.
  11. Josephines friend

    Josephines friend New Member

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    Yes she was a desert tortoise- sweet, funny and
    yes she was a one of a kind, sweet, character of a tortoise who is very dearly l missed. Thank you for your guidance- it’s very kind.
    vladimir likes this.
  12. Josephines friend

    Josephines friend New Member

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    I didn’t mean to make you join my tear club- only sharing
    wow- sorry to hear about your doubly sad loss. It’s true- surgery is unpredictable. It isn’t helping my situation since I suspect that she may have had to much ketamine in her mixture of meds to sedate her. I’ve found journal articles online about research that was done and the outcomes are eerily similar to the outcome Josephine had. I also suspect the vet is carrying some guilt with her behavior on the phone. I have lost my faith for sure in veterinarians given the experience with Josephine and another Previous experience with one of my dogs. I only pray that my dog I have now loves a healthy life with no need for medical intervention.
    We are putting together a memorial for Josephine in our yard as I try to make sense out of a lack of sense all together.
    Thank you for kindly giving me some advice.
    vladimir likes this.
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