Frankie Tortoise Tails: Burglery

[email protected]

Well-Known Member
10 Year Member!
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
198
Location (City and/or State)
Mobile, Alabama
I am not paranoid. Really, I am not. I'm not all that interesting. I don't attract attention. I am quite ordinary. No one is after me.

My secret is this: the smallest person in the room wins. Survival tactics from growing up in a family of five kids. Who get's called to do the dishes? First person mom spots. Who gets scolded? The loudest most obnoxious kid. When mom reaches blindly into the car back seat and starts swatting, who gets hit? The center kid.

My mastery of the subtle is sublime. When the 110 pound sulcata tortoise, Frankie, is not with me, I go completely unnoticed. When Frankie IS with me everyone is looking at the 110 pound tortoise.

Home security is the same. Don't be noticeable. Don't put empty flat screen TV boxes by the curb. Don't place your best silver on the front window shelf. Don't keep Frankie inside a chain link fence.

The front door is locked. All gates closed and locked. During the day the backdoor is unlocked so I can run in and out to see Frankie.

I spent the morning safe and relaxed on my computer in the front of the house editing some new Frankie pictures. Really concentrating on cleaning them up, cropping, saving, etc. Occasionally I hear rapidly running paws across the carpet....Newt, our cat, running wild, getting her exercise. She knocked over some boxes earlier but no real damage.

After spending too much time working on the photos I think soon I need to go check on Frankie. It's warm so he is outside basking and grazing. He may want hay because Spring grass is slow growing. He'll want his daily carrot.

I hear boxes in the hall get bumped. Dumb cat. It's cat nap time so what is she doing still running around? Silence. Okay, back to the pictures.

I hear the sound of paper being stepped on. That's odd. Doesn't sound like a cat walking on paper.

Finish the photo edit. Save current file. Turn around in my chair.

Have you ever tried screaming, your mouth wide open but what comes out is more like a gasping coughing. Air that is supposed to go out is getting sucked deep into your lungs. What comes out sounds more like "WA..WA....aaaaaaahhhhhh. Yeah, that scream that pretty much ends in a complete helpless choking fit.

I start waving my hands madly not because I am scared but that poor Frankie, in the house, in the dining room, five feet in front of me, acts like he is under attack.

He frantically exhales making this WHHHHSSSSSSSSS noise, pulling back into his shell and wobbling like a spinning toy top.

Frankie, having discovered the back door unsecured and not completely closed, has made his way through the living room, down the hall and all the way into the dining room.

I am caught completely unawares by the Frankie burglar looking for carrots.

It took Frankie some time to trust me again. Two carrots to be exact.
 

wellington

Well-Known Member
Moderator
10 Year Member!
Tortoise Club
Joined
Sep 6, 2011
Messages
49,660
Location (City and/or State)
Chicago, Illinois, USA
OMG, you scared the crap out of me. I thought you actually got robbed and was face to face with the robber. Your scream or lack of is one of my fears should I ever need to scream because of a robber, etc.
So glad it was just Frankie. I bet he sits in that yard just looking to see what he can do next.
I'm telling you. You really need to make/put all these stories into a short story book. If you ever decide to do it, I will by a copy or two. You can describe things where I feel like I'm right there and know exactly what your feeling of seeing. Btw I think we could be twins. I'm the same as you. Ordinary, don't attract attention, let me be plain and unseen, no drama here. LOL
 

TammyJ

Well-Known Member
5 Year Member
Joined
Jun 21, 2016
Messages
7,120
Location (City and/or State)
Jamaica
Right up until near the end of this story, I thought Frankie had been abducted from outside while you were busy inside making pictures.
Glad he came in before that happened. He must be really smart.
I agree that you should seriously become a writer and make Frankie a children's book or series of "Frankie" stories!
 

[email protected]

Well-Known Member
10 Year Member!
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
198
Location (City and/or State)
Mobile, Alabama
Thank you, everyone for many kind remarks.

Just FYI....I am a writer. :)
The Frankie Tortoise Tails series is 13 years running and still going...so long as Frankie keeps up his antics.
I've published a book, a few magazine articles, and on-line articles....about Phelsuma....(I'll let you look that one up).

In this digital age, being a writer is different....sorta like today's farmer is very different than our old-MacDonald-had-a-farm image.

As for Frankie Tortoise Tails...I've always viewed them as children's stories for adults.
 
Top