Nice one, R.F.!
Found!
- Thread starter Yvonne G
- Start date
This is less funny, and more realistically what I think could have happened.
John and Jackie had been dating for a long time, and John knew that Jackie really wanted to get married and start a family, but John didn't want to settle down. Jackie and John had been fighting a lot about the subject, so he decided to get Jackie a pet so she would stop talking about babies.
John went out to the pet store on Jackie's birthday and look around for a pet that he could give her. He hated cats, dogs were too much work, and he didn't want to get her a fish because she couldn't snuggle it. He looked around the store and stopped in the reptile area and tapped on the dirty aquarium glass that held a few tiny tortoises. They seemed fine. Kind of cute. You could probably snuggle a tortoise, right?
John bought one of the little tortoises and stopped at Walmart on the way home and grabbed a 10g aquarium, a bag of carrots and a bag of play sand. John thought he remembered tortoises lived in the desert.
When John got home Jackie was pretty excited to see such an adorable little creature, and thought John must really love her after all. Jackie turned on the aquarium hood light every morning, fed him a bowl full of chopped up carrots and ooohed and awwwed over his adorable antics as he skittered back and forth against the glass whenever she came into the room. As the tortoise "Baby" grew, he started getting way too big to fit in his tank. John and Jackie moved him into a Rubbermaid bin on the living room floor. Just temporarily until they could get him a bigger tank. They never got around to it. Eventually after a fight John folded and got Jackie a puppy, and they moved Baby out on to the balcony and gave him the occasional bowl full of tomatoes, carrots and iceberg lettuce but otherwise forgot about him. The dog was given away on Craigslist when it destroyed the couch and got too big for the apartment but Baby was no trouble at all.
One day, years later, Jackie and John fought as they always did, but this time Jackie left for good. She left the damn tortoise John had given her. He bought it, it was his job to deal with it. John couldn't afford the rent on their condo himself and started packing up his things to move into a bachelor pad. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep Baby, but he left it until the last minuten and just figured he would eventually find something to do with it.
When moving day came, Baby still didn't have a new home. John was annoyed Jackie had left him with this responsibility. Instead John packed up Baby in a cardboard box and drive him out of the city. He was a wild animal. He'd be fine, John told himself. Besides it wasn't his turtle to begin with. It wasn't his job to deal with Jackie's messes anymore.
John drove away without looking back once. Just another item off his to do list.
John and Jackie had been dating for a long time, and John knew that Jackie really wanted to get married and start a family, but John didn't want to settle down. Jackie and John had been fighting a lot about the subject, so he decided to get Jackie a pet so she would stop talking about babies.
John went out to the pet store on Jackie's birthday and look around for a pet that he could give her. He hated cats, dogs were too much work, and he didn't want to get her a fish because she couldn't snuggle it. He looked around the store and stopped in the reptile area and tapped on the dirty aquarium glass that held a few tiny tortoises. They seemed fine. Kind of cute. You could probably snuggle a tortoise, right?
John bought one of the little tortoises and stopped at Walmart on the way home and grabbed a 10g aquarium, a bag of carrots and a bag of play sand. John thought he remembered tortoises lived in the desert.
When John got home Jackie was pretty excited to see such an adorable little creature, and thought John must really love her after all. Jackie turned on the aquarium hood light every morning, fed him a bowl full of chopped up carrots and ooohed and awwwed over his adorable antics as he skittered back and forth against the glass whenever she came into the room. As the tortoise "Baby" grew, he started getting way too big to fit in his tank. John and Jackie moved him into a Rubbermaid bin on the living room floor. Just temporarily until they could get him a bigger tank. They never got around to it. Eventually after a fight John folded and got Jackie a puppy, and they moved Baby out on to the balcony and gave him the occasional bowl full of tomatoes, carrots and iceberg lettuce but otherwise forgot about him. The dog was given away on Craigslist when it destroyed the couch and got too big for the apartment but Baby was no trouble at all.
One day, years later, Jackie and John fought as they always did, but this time Jackie left for good. She left the damn tortoise John had given her. He bought it, it was his job to deal with it. John couldn't afford the rent on their condo himself and started packing up his things to move into a bachelor pad. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep Baby, but he left it until the last minuten and just figured he would eventually find something to do with it.
When moving day came, Baby still didn't have a new home. John was annoyed Jackie had left him with this responsibility. Instead John packed up Baby in a cardboard box and drive him out of the city. He was a wild animal. He'd be fine, John told himself. Besides it wasn't his turtle to begin with. It wasn't his job to deal with Jackie's messes anymore.
John drove away without looking back once. Just another item off his to do list.
Alaskamike
Well-Known Member
A Redfoot named Benny
was bought
How to keep him
Never was taught
A tank for a home
With nowhere to roam
Good food for him
Never was sought.
His days were dreary & dark
As a pet
He was only a lark.
Too often he was cold
In his home they were sold
Struggling to grow
And get well.
But he grew after all
And the tank got too small
Mom said to the woods
He must go.
They cried they will miss
And sent with a kiss
Benny wander off
Into the world
Benny wandered for days
In the sun & the haze
Looking for dog food
For naught.
So some grass he did eat
And OH ! What a treat
His belly was full
Of good stuff.
Till he wandered one day
In a man's big driveway
It's amazing he didn't
Get squashed.
And The Man who did care
Said "Well what have we there?"
Little fella you look
Outta place.
So off he did go
To a place that would know
What to do
With Benny the tort.
To a gal with a heart
To give a new start
And a home
Food & water galore
He'll be just fine now
And eat like a cow
With no thought
Of his life from before.
But many there be
Like Benny you see
With Yvonne loving
And opening her
Door.
was bought
How to keep him
Never was taught
A tank for a home
With nowhere to roam
Good food for him
Never was sought.
His days were dreary & dark
As a pet
He was only a lark.
Too often he was cold
In his home they were sold
Struggling to grow
And get well.
But he grew after all
And the tank got too small
Mom said to the woods
He must go.
They cried they will miss
And sent with a kiss
Benny wander off
Into the world
Benny wandered for days
In the sun & the haze
Looking for dog food
For naught.
So some grass he did eat
And OH ! What a treat
His belly was full
Of good stuff.
Till he wandered one day
In a man's big driveway
It's amazing he didn't
Get squashed.
And The Man who did care
Said "Well what have we there?"
Little fella you look
Outta place.
So off he did go
To a place that would know
What to do
With Benny the tort.
To a gal with a heart
To give a new start
And a home
Food & water galore
He'll be just fine now
And eat like a cow
With no thought
Of his life from before.
But many there be
Like Benny you see
With Yvonne loving
And opening her
Door.
Aw, geez. . . this almost got me all choked up.
I never realized how talented our members are. Keep 'em coming. They're great!!!!!!!
9
daniellenc
Well-Known Member
No story from me but he is a cutie!
