don't ask if you wont take the advice

[Gillian M]

"You have a lovely setup!" Does that mean the setup is well-planned, takes all elements into consideration, is attractive looking -OR- is it a sarcastic, sardonic, cynical comment? Context, inflection, tone and the receiving party's mindset all play into the 'feeling'. Most folks here are in it for the tortoises. Leave the feelings in a diary where they belong. Take all of the advice offered and 'average' it - you will be much better served that way.

Never mind what I mean. There is just no need whatsoever to be hurtful giving advice.

Sorry, I disagree with you as per taking advice offered. Know why? Well, someone so nasty could advice me to do "A" when I'm supposed to do "B" and such a person could do so intentionally! Therefore, I've decided not to even read such alerts. Does that make things clearer?

 

[HLogic]

You can be assured that bad advice will be followed with good advice in spades. Take a look at almost any thread. The clarity is gained by understanding that the advice given is not necessarily bad even from a nasty someone. I don't consider myself particularly PC and could give a flying in a rolling what someone thinks about me but I try to give good advice even while being "nasty". Hurtful is one's impression and the nouveau regime is under the impression that if your opinion is not shared by them; it is hurtful.

I was going to add a "Dear Diary" entry but thought it may have been construed as hurtful.

 

[Gillian M]

You can be assured that bad advice will be followed with good advice in spades. Take a look at almost any thread. The clarity is gained by understanding that the advice given is not necessarily bad even from a nasty someone. I don't consider myself particularly PC and could give a flying in a rolling what someone thinks about me but I try to give good advice even while being "nasty". Hurtful is one's impression and the nouveau regime is under the impression that if your opinion is not shared by them; it is hurtful.

I was going to add a "Dear Diary" entry but thought it may have been construed as hurtful.

Bad advice doesn't necessarily have to be followed by good advice...not when the person is deliberately trying to hurt you rather than give you advice. I am not in need of advice from such a ruthless person I can assure you!

No dear...you are not being hurtful if your opinion is unlike mine. But.....you can give advice in a friendly and a diplomatic way, likewise you can be so harsh when in your wording when sending the same message.

It seems as though I haven't made things clear enough, have I?

 

[Tom]

I really hated it when I asked about mixing species and told no....it was my dream to have a lawn full of assorted tortoises....
being told that mixing species is not possible was like hearing there is no Santa Clause for the first time....
i almost did not folow that advice....but i'm glad i did. i will settle for a lawn full of leopards...

What is wrong with a lawn full of assorted species in separate enclosures? I think its lovely that way.

 

[Tom]

Maybe all newbies need a mentor to help us through things. Someone we can call and talk to? Or even to private message? Just an idea.

I've done a lot of that. Its a good idea.

ALL NOOBS: Pick someone.

 

[Tom]

"You have a lovely setup!" Does that mean the setup is well-planned, takes all elements into consideration, is attractive looking -OR- is it a sarcastic, sardonic, cynical comment? Context, inflection, tone and the receiving party's mindset all play into the 'feeling'. Most folks here are in it for the tortoises. Leave the feelings in a diary where they belong.

I agree. I just type plain English. There are some people who just seem to want to take everything they read and assume it was meant in the worst way imaginable. I answer questions and respond to threads and posts that interest me, or that I feel like I have some experience or insight that might help the poster.

Here is an example: I have frequently said, "Those ramped water bowls are literally death traps." My intent is to let the person know they have a dangerous product in their tortoise enclosure and they need to remove it. Could I phrase that in a more flowery, "nice" way? Perhaps. But I'm not trying to win a prize for being the most compassionate speaker, Im trying to help someone not come home and find their tortoise upside down and dead. I say it plainly and try to make my points with as few words as I can. In all honesty, my feelings, the other person's feelings and the tortoises feelings, never entered my mind.

Further, if I want something to sound bad, I am very capable of phrasing it so the person won't have to guess. The person who has been the most recent recipient of my ire, and frequent reciprocator, is a person who has never raised a single sulcata in any way at all, yet keeps trying to advise people on how they should raise their baby sulcatas. How does one know the best way, or worst way, to raise a given species if they've never done it at all?

 

[HLogic]

I'll drink to that, Tom! Some of us old fogeys were told to tell the truth and let the audience figure it out..no tenderness intended.

 

[Anyfoot]

Wow, This is an interesting thread, learning more about humans than torts though. lol
I listen to experts and novices alike and make my own mind up. Everyone has good and bad ideas, its life. If a 1000 people give me 100% of there advice and only 0.1% is good, I take it and I'm 99.9% wiser than any of the 1000 people. and

 

[Heather H]

well when I first started some of you ( not naming names) scared me. but I learned very fast that it was good advice and just how people talk.

 

[Tom]

If a 1000 people give me 100% of there advice and only 0.1% is good, I take it and I'm 99.9% wiser than any of the 1000 people.

Wait... What?

You are making my head hurt.

 

[Tom]

well when I first started some of you ( not naming names) scared me. but I learned very fast that it was good advice and just how people talk.

Its soooooo much more fun, if you name names.

C'mon Heather. Did I scare you?

 

[Heather H]

Wait... What?

You are making my head hurt.

lol

 

[Heather H]

Its soooooo much more fun, if you name names.

C'mon Heather. Did I scare you?

YES IT WAS YOU TOM

 

[Heather H]

YES IT WAS YOU TOM

but i think I have learned so much. I have not even been here a month.

 

[Heather H]

so i have decided since I have a huge 20 gallon tank that I am going to get 6 different babies and keep them all together. There is plenty of room. I have those coil light things, and i will soak so they don't need water right. I feed them dog or cat food I read that some where. they like it dry and cold I hear

 

[Anyfoot]

so i have decided since I have a huge 20 gallon tank that I am going to get 6 different babies and keep them all together. There is plenty of room. I have those coil light things, and i will soak so they don't need water right. I feed them dog or cat food I read that some where. they like it dry and cold I hear

And don't forget to let the dog guard them.

 

[Heather H]

And don't forget to let the dog guard them.

oh you bet he is so good i know he will be great with them. the cat loves to sleep in there too.

 

[Yellow Turtle01]

Don't forget to buy sand! The very knowledgeable petsore employee told me it was the best!

 

[Yellow Turtle01]

Oh yes, and my torts love romaine... so it's got to be pretty good for them, right?

 

[Turtlepete]

Hi guys, I have a 5x10 pad of concrete around my pool deck, which covers my entire back yard with no grass areas, but it's all fenced in. I can adopt a 26" sulcata into this setting, right?

(No joke, I had this happen….)