Hi Guys, I've been wanting to put this in writing and just... couldn't!!! Completely stuck! Paralyzed! Trying to get on the Forum and participate at least welcome few new members of see if I can help some new people with feeding of sick torts or any of the common mistakes that I had made at the beginning... i open the threads, and my mind draws blank! It was towards the end of this past week (kids' Spring Break) we had lost my sweet older kitty-girl Toffi. She came to us as small kitten on a cool stormy November night back in 2001 (was 16 yrs old). She was a beautiful black tortoiseshell with a very silky coat of a bunny rabbit. I just loved petting her! Last couple of yrs we had struggled with her hyperthyroidism and despite medication regimen she was still losing weight, barely eating... i had already lost 2 wonderful cats to complications of hyperthyroidism at the age of 15. I resent that disease, but i know my sweet Toffi would have done better had i been able to embrace it and go with it as part of her aging process. That I must keep on working on. View attachment 202600 here is one of her most recent pics. Toffi was quite a clown as a kitten, loved running sideways with arched back and tail up and twitching, we called it "her crab walk". She was also a purr-machine. After few weeks of no one responding to my adds and posters all over to claim her I took her to our vet for baseline checkup and first shots, she was purring so loud the vet was not able to auscultate her heart and lungs. Her "inner rumbling" was audible from another room (not exaggerating here!) she kept purring even through her shots! But after that visit she didn't like getting in the car anymore my Sweet poor girl. She was truly special! Loved to be loved! Always readily accepting of new house pets, never hissing or showing aggression nor fear to anyone... she was just a sweet happy kitty girl! View attachment 202603 The other day she didn't come to the kitchen in the morning and I found her dead under one of the chairs she used to like to hide... her body already cold ... My husband dug a grave for her next to Shari who died exactly 1 yr ago at 17 yrs old. My children are very sad, but I am completely heartbroken! These 2 old kitty girls had been with me long before my children. They used to be MY ONLY CHILDREN to love and care for. I had planted a rose bush on Shari's grave, will get another one for my sweet Toffi and plant it. Rose or another nice flowering perennial plant. So this is the reason for my sudden "falling off" the forum and inconsistent participation. I will be back but now I must allow myself to do what I "feel like doing" in any aspect of life where this is possible. My life is so full of rigorous responsibilities which at times can wear me down, so I have developped this innocent protective mechanism to cut myself little slack where possible at times of great hardship to focus all the good joojoo in place of pain so that healing can start. View attachment 202604 this had been the daytime sleeping quarters for Toffi and Maxi. Ahhh! My soul hurts!!!!